Takeshi’s 7-Step “Relief” Program
During an April 23 live television broadcast of the program Jouhou 7-Days Newscaster and renowned filmmaker Takeshi Kitano urgently appealed to provide “more detailed assistance” to the disaster area.
Takeshi, who co-hosts the program, outlined seven measures that he believes could improve the quality of life for those displaced by the disaster. In true Takeshi fashion most of the suggestions are very bold and even lewd, making it easy to brush them off as another one of his comedic stunts. However, considering that the shelters provide very little in the way of privacy and entertainment, Takeshi’s proposal could sound much more relevant to those actually living in them.
The proposed measures follow below:
1. Ask the refugees what they want to eat before bringing food in:
Preparing food based on what the refugees want to eat will make everyone happier.
2.Set up temporary love hotels for young couples:
Love hotels are a type of short-stay hotel for the purpose of allowing couples to have intercourse in privacy. No matter the circumstances, couples need a safe place to reaffirm their love.
3.Set up temporary ‘video rooms’ for young people:
That is, private rooms for people to watch adult videos
4.Set up temporary arcades for kids:
Life in shelters is particularly taxing on children, and video games are an excellent way for them to be released from that stress.
5.Set up temporary karaoke-equipped snack bars:
Snack bars are female-staffed bars where employees are paid to flirt with staff. Singing, drinking and merrymaking for all-purpose stress relief.
6.Set up temporary fuuzoku:
Fuuzoku are any institution that offers sexual services aside from coitus, the only thing the Japanese legal definition of prostitution covers. For those who don’t have a partner for the love hotels.
7.Set up temporary host clubs using the good-looking members of the Japan Self Defense Forces (JSDF) who are off-duty:
Host clubs are staffed with young males who entertain their female customers with drink and flirtatious conversation. JSDF men are said to be popular with the ladies, and would therefore provide a readily available source of labor.
Certainly these points address problems that those living in the shelters may be hesitant to bring up themselves. Takeshi similarly caused commotion last month for his livid criticism, expressed on the same program, of the Japanese government’s handling of the disaster.
Translation: Steven
